I like pay day.

As a pastor I’m not sure if I’m supposed to but I do. It’s not the amount – it’s the exchange. I have given a piece of my life measured by time in exchange for a deposit in my bank account. If for some reason at the end of the month nothing came into my account, I would feel slighted. If the elders decided that instead of celebrating Pastor Appreciation Month in October, CCC would celebrate Pastor De-Appreciation Month, I would cry, “That’s unfair. I earned that.”

I have found I can never use those words with God. Grace is the opposite of something earned, and I’ve finally figured out that all is grace.

It struck me the other day that if I were blind and suddenly able to see, it would be a miracle. If I were crippled and could suddenly stand and walk and run, it would be an act of God. If I were in a coma with my family around the bedside and my eyes started to flutter and then open, we would all praise God for bringing me back.

Every morning I wake from sleep. I open my eyes and I can see. I sit up and push myself off the side of the bed and I find I can walk. After lying in a coma for 8 hours my eyes flutter and I can see.

Every day I experience countless miracles. Because they happen every day, I think of them as something I deserve. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The other day I wrote this in my journal:

All is grace.

Life itself is grace.

Laughter is grace. Tears are grace.

Pleasure is grace. Pain is grace.

Eating is grace. Tasting is grace.

Sickness is grace. Healing is grace.

Loving is grace. Being loved is grace.

Aloneness is grace. Togetherness is grace.

Silence is grace. Noise is grace.

Whispers are grace. Shouts are grace.

Prayer is grace.

You, O God, are full of grace, and it pours out every moment of every day. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear that grace as it fills the life that you have given me… in your grace.