I grew up not knowing God and suffering a great deal of psychological abuse from my mother. One of the ways I coped with the damage was pornography. Between my sinful nature, hitting puberty, and my search for the love I wasn’t receiving from my mother, I fell quickly and easily into a full-blown addiction to pornography. It wasn’t until a few years after college when I came to know God that I realized I even had a problem.
At first, I didn’t understand just how far I had fallen and thought I could get over it on my own; that didn’t work at all. After a few months of trying and failing on my own, I realized I needed to turn to God if I was ever going to break free from my addiction. When God led me to CCC at the end of 2017, I immediately looked for ways to get more involved and discovered Courage to Change (C2C) on the website. I was nervous about reaching out and confessing my addiction, but God gave me the courage to take that crucial first step, and I began attending C2C meetings in January. Since then, I’ve met two people, Aaron and Dave, who have been of particular help in my struggle above and beyond the weekly meetings. Aaron helped me to find fellowship and study by inviting me to his community group. Dave has helped me through counseling and accountability. Between the two of them, C2C as a whole, and spending time with God through prayer and Bible reading, God has brought me far from where I used to be.
God has taught me to forgive my mother. He has also been and still is showing me to repent of my sin and turn to him because he loves me and I can depend on him to provide for my every need. Through this process, God has given me a new heart for him and for others. I have learned to trust in God, especially with my struggle and the fact that he has chosen to take me through a journey of recovery. I now have a desire to grow stronger and to fight temptation. I don’t know what he has planned for me, but I know that he is good and it will be great.
Brokenness can wear a variety of masks, like depression, addiction to pornography, and anger to name a few – and it can capture anyone. If you feel trapped, know that you’re not alone and that God has more in store for your life. It takes real courage to seek out recovery, but God will meet you there. Come to check out Courage to Change, a support group that meets every Monday at 7 p.m. at The Block (5374 Darrow Rd, Hudson, OH 44236), where we open up about our personal struggles (we all have them) and provides a framework to work through them. No need to register for Courage to Change – just show up. If you have questions, contact [email protected] or learn more about our support groups at Care & Support.