To Be Fair You Gotta Treat Them Different

My daughter posted a video of two of her sons running in a parking lot after it had rained. Ezekiel is 4, and Malachi is 2 years old. My daughter yelled, “Don’t go through the puddles.” Young moms can still dream. Ezekiel, as the firstborn, weaved his way around the puddles. Malachi was drawn to the puddles like a moth to the flame. Before the last and biggest puddle, you could hear Malachi yell, “Cannonball!!” as he jumped in with both feet. The whole scene made me laugh. It also reminded me that my children, and now my grandchildren, are all different.

Treating kids differently can cause a lot of damage. The story of how Jacob favored Joseph is case in point. Parents shouldn’t have favorites, and neither should grandparents. But I also know being fair is more complicated than I want it to be.

Malachi and Ezekiel are different. I’m not saying that Ezekiel needs to obey and Malachi doesn’t. I’m saying that running around puddles will always be easier for Ezekiel. Ezekiel may have trouble giving himself permission to have fun. Malachi, on the other hand, will probably have more trouble coloring between the lines.

All this to suggest to you and remind myself to let all my grandkids be themselves. Some of them will act the way I remember acting when I was young. Some will act in a way that never occurred to me when I was young, or even less so now that I am old.

Pray for wisdom for your kids as parents, and to find joy in the one who runs around the puddles and the one who yells “Cannonball!” Love them both because Jesus does.

Pastor Joe