Most couples know that they’re supposed to have a regular date night. Even without being told by others, we have a longing to connect with our spouse during our busy schedules. Think back for a moment to when you first started dating your husband or wife. Were there nights when you stayed up late just to keep talking? You might have even looked over your day full of classes or work, wondering when you might be able to fit in a quick visit or coffee date.

Date nights back in those days didn’t include the talk about the budget, who would pick up the kids after school, or what happened at work that week. You went out together simply to know more about one another. In fact, you were actually one another’s escape from the pressures of the world around you. And there is a part of you that wants those long, intentional conversations back.

You went out together simply to know more about one another… and there is a part of you that wants those long, intentional conversations back.

Here are five tips to keep dating your spouse a priority in your marriage:

  1. Make Dating a Priority: It’s been said that if we fail to plan, we plan to fail. Dating your spouse will not happen by accident. While life may throw occasional curve balls at us, we generally know what the week has in store. A good practice is to spend a little time reviewing the week ahead and intentionally plan time together as a couple. Many have even found it helpful to agree on a night each week or every other week dedicated specifically to date night.
  2. Can’t Go Out? Date In: How many of us roll our eyes when someone suggests making date night a priority? If you only had the time to go out, you would! Keep in mind that sometimes simple is better. Try doing a date night in! After the kids go to bed, plan a movie and popcorn night or simply play cards together. You’ll have just as much fun doing that as going out sometimes. Get creative and be intentional if dating in is your best option.
  3. Ask Good Questions: With so much going on, our default on date nights may be to talk about everyday issues. Date night isn’t the time to unpack drama from your work. Date night is the time to connect with one another and build intimacy! Need some inspiration? Here are 36 Questions to Fall in Love to get you started.
  4. Date Swap with Friends: In 10 Hot Date Night Ideas for Married Couples, Lipp and Macpherson affirm, “To be clear, kids are romance stealers in the nicest, most adorable way.” Date night should not be ignored because of a growing family or babysitter costs. To combat the tendency to put dating our spouse on the back burner, try coordinating a date swap night with friends. Agree to babysit for your friends once a month in exchange for them doing the same for you another evening of the month.
  5. Surprise Your Spouse: While your husband or wife will love that you’re planning a date night together with the other four tips, impromptu dates are a wonderful way to let him or her know that they’re on your mind! Whether a picnic in the park or a weekend getaway, keep it interesting and take time every once in a while to plan a surprise date.

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